That didn’t take long….

So my promise to have posts going up Mondays and Fridays didn’t work. I’ve always had a problem keeping up with things but I feel I’ve got a few excuses.


First off Kingdom Hearts 3 came out. I’m a bit of an odd fan of the series in that for some reason I started playing KH2. I can’t remember why I ended up playing that first but I really enjoyed it (though was thoroughly confused for a while!!). I went back to play KH1 but never finished it, played a large chunk of 368/2 but didn’t finish that, and didn’t touch any of the other weird side games.

With that said I did love the games enough that I chased the lore a lot and really enjoyed what I had played, so I was really hyped for KH3. I’ve been playing that in pretty much every spare minute and loving it, so that’s been fun!! I’m playing through to 100% completion (if I can!) because I’ve learnt that Matt Mercer and Travis Willingham are both in it, but the characters they voice only appear in the secret ending movie. No spoilers; I’m going to get there eventually!


The second reason I’ve been out was this Monday just gone I had a job interview. My current role is a deputy to a manager and I really enjoy what I do. I’ve been in this role for 2 years now and I’ve been learning a huge amount. The place I’m in, though, is starting to stagnate. Not so much in the role but the management and organisational structure is failing and I’m finding myself frequently frustrated with not being able to do anything about it.

Because of this I’ve been looking at positions that are effectively on par with my manager (the one I’m a deputy of). These positions aren’t hugely frequent as I work in the healthcare sector and most upper management positions are locked to people with clinical backgrounds.

I didn’t get the job (I won’t keep you in suspense) but in some respects I’m a little… relieved? Its complicated.

I am quite ambitious and I want to do well, I want to be able to be in a position in an organisation where I can actually do something and affect change, and I genuinely believe that some of the skills I have are beneficial to an organisation. That said I’m also not really very confrontational and I do get a bit nervous around new things…. this means once I’m doing something I’m fine but I’m not a huge fan of the first few times.

This particular position was a good hour and a half drive away from where I live, would have been taking on loads of extra responsibilities, meant managing a team of 50+ people….. It would have been a big change. I would have really relished the chance to have a go at it but I would also be vaguely worried that I would mess it all up.

So there it is; I went for it, really gave it my best, got really positive feedback (they wanted someone with more management experience) but am glad I didn’t get it. Hooray me.


Last thing I did over the past few days is come out to one of my closest friends who has recently had to move away to London for work. Boy was that terrifying.

I know that he’s friends with at least one other trans person who I used to game with back in the day, but he’s also known me for like…. 5 years now? Quite a while, and it’s a bit of a change to go “hey, I messed up, I was a girl all along!”

I did it in the most stupidly obvious way possible, I showed him the tweet I got back from Matt (squee, by the way) and when he asked what I’d shared I said “oh a blog post about how I realised I’m trans”. Damn that was cringy.

But hey! Whatevs.

He was really cool, apparently I’m the third person to come out to him, and he was super chill, and just wanted to know what pronouns/name I wanted to go by. So that was great.


That’s all I’ve got for now, hopefully I’ll come up with something more interesting to write to get back into the swing of things. For now though?

With love,

Sammy

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